My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #897

Posted on 2024-05-19 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“He goes faster than he used to, but not as far.”

(Winning caption: “My family used to have one, but we lost interest.” – Bob Shiffrar, Boston, Mass.)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #896

Posted on 2024-05-09 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“My girlfriend likes to ride my giant cock.”

(Winning caption: “Yeah, we deliver, but only across the road.” – Nick Gaudio, Austin, Texas)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #895

Posted on 2024-04-29 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“Very funny, Zork. Now beam down our clothes.”

(Winning caption: “Oh, sure, now you look at a map.” – Nick Heer, Calgary, Alberta)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #894

Posted on 2024-04-15 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“Tickles should lose the nose when she poses nude.”

(Winning caption: “Ever since I can remember, paintings of children have given me nightmares.” – Glen Reiser, Camarillo, Calif.)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #893

Posted on 2024-04-08 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“It was featured in a rising house price expose on The View.”

(Winning caption: “The seller isn’t willing to come down.” – Daniel Galef, Cincinnati, Ohio)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #892

Posted on 2024-04-01 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“The princess was delicious, and the dragon lived happily ever after.”

(Winning caption: “No bedtime story until you clean up that mess you made downtown.” – Paul Benedetto, Guelph, Ont.)

(Third Place: “It’s nice to have someone to read to again, since you ate the kids.” – Nicole Chrolavicius, Burlington, Ont. Nicole is on a roll!)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #891

Posted on 2024-03-25 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“Did you fumble away the memo? We’re sticking with football metaphors.”

(Winning caption: “I’ll listen to four pitches and then I’m walking.” – Susan Murray, Ann Arbor, Mich.)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #890

Posted on 2024-03-18 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“You have a celestial body.”

(Winning caption: “You could have mentioned that those photos were from thirteen billion years ago.” – Jake Phillips, Washington, D.C.)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #889

Posted on 2024-03-11 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“The unicorns sleep with the fishes.”

(Winning caption: “You say ‘flood’ like it’s a bad thing.” – Doug Haslam, Newton, Mass.)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #888

Posted on 2024-03-10 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“I’m still not going to hug you.”

(Winning caption: “It doesn’t make you any less of a cactus.” – Matt Cowhey, Beesley’s Point, N.J.)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #887

Posted on 2024-02-26 by Kenny — 1 Comment ↓

“This is your third and final opportunity to extend your lamp warranty.”

(Winning caption: “Your wish may be granted within three to five business days.” – Colin Beasor, Albany, N.Y.)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #886

Posted on 2024-02-19 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“I’m sorry, I haven’t seen your lost shaker of salt.”

(Winning caption: “It’s not the sound of gentle waves kissing the shore, Walter. It’s the dishwasher.” – Kate Lohman, Providence, R.I.)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #885

Posted on 2024-02-05 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“Down goes Freezer!”

(Winning caption: “Oh, my God! My butt is huge.” – James Flaherty, Oakville, Ont.)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #884

Posted on 2024-01-29 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“A donkey is the traditional symbol, but this better represents the current leadership.”

(Winning caption: “The cane is made of ivory. Why do you ask?” Eric Behrens, Austin, Texas)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #883

Posted on 2024-01-23 by Kenny — 1 Comment ↓

“Tigger’s triggered. Pooh should have used their preferred pronoun.”

(Winning caption: “You knew I was domesticated when you married me, Margaret.” – Jesse Kavadlo, Chesterfield, Mo.)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #882

Posted on 2024-01-15 by Kenny — 1 Comment ↓

“All hat, no scissor.”

(Winning caption: “He’s also the fastest gun in the West, so no one wants to tell him.” -Leah Barrett Demers, Arlington, Mass.)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #881

Posted on 2024-01-08 by Kenny — 2 Comments ↓

“You guys again? You must be making money hand over fist.”

(Winning caption: “Just one round, or two out of three?” – Erin Viehl, Briarcliff Manor, N.Y.)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #880

Posted on 2023-12-30 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“I tried to change it to standard time, but it has to really want to change.”

(Winning caption: “I don’t know. What time do you think it is?” Margaret Waller, Claremont, Calif.)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #879

Posted on 2023-12-21 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“Gotta admire Eddie the Eagle’s persistence.”

(Winning caption: “John 3:16 still the time to beat!” Douglas Finkelstein, Redondo Beach, Calif.)

My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #878

Posted on 2023-12-14 by Kenny — No Comments ↓

“I’m the best present you’ll ever have.”

(Winning caption: “But, baby, it’s cold inside.” – Jeff Villhauer, North Liberty, Iowa)

That’s not funny