“I’m sorry, the lifetime warranty doesn’t cover the end table.”

(Winning caption: “Most people only have roadside assistance.” – Georgiana Atkins Havill, Winter Park, Fla)

(2nd Place: “He hasn’t proposed yet, but he did give me a written estimate.” – Richard Marcil, Macomb Township, Mich. – Yay Richard. A fellow member of Beth’s Facebook group.)