“We don’t offer workouts from home. You’ll have to shell out.”
(Winning caption: “We’re really looking for someone with more lab experience.” – Shaun Howell, Durham, N.C.)
Out of Office
My loser entry: Cartoon Collections caption contest 2021-06-23
“Not only that, I can pee in a cup 90 feet away.”
“Don’t ask. There’s no prying in baseball.”
“You didn’t buy me some pee? Nuts!”
(Winning caption: “I need you to pee in a cup for me.” – Bob Johnson
(Third Place: “I was called up from the pharm team.” – Yay Carol Lasky! A fellow member of Beth’s Facebook group.)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #761
“Life gave me gin, so this is perfect.”
(Winning caption: “He says making lemonade is not an option.” – Suzan Stodder, Madison, Wis.)
Why Phishing Works
Happy Father’s Day 2021
My loser entry: Cartoon Collections caption contest 2021-06-16
“I’m getting hints of elderberry with an oaky finish. Also an intermittent satellite signal.”
“I’m trying to be more open-minded, like dating outside the wasp community.”
“Could you wiggle-dance the way to the restroom?”
(Winning caption: “Never mind how I know you’re lying.” – Don Symons)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #760
“Perhaps monsieur would prefer to order in English.”
(Winning caption: “It’s curb to table.” – Susan Gale Wickes, Richmond, Ind.)
(Third place: “Define fresh.” – Edo Steinberg, Be’er-Sheva, Israel)
Yay Susan and Edo! Fellow members of Beth’s Facebook group.
Press Release
My loser entry: Cartoon Collections caption contest 2021-06-09
“I outsourced magic sand delivery to Amazon. Try watching C-SPAN.”
(Winning caption: “I’m hovering over him and throwing sand in his face. I don’t understand why he’s not falling asleep.” – Scott Finbar)
(3rd place: “This is a tough one. Send in the Malletman.” – Bruce Niedt, a fellow member of Beth’s Facebook group. Yay Bruce!)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #759
“Thank goodness we can finally go back to school. I’m board.”
(Winning caption: “They call it kitsch and release.” – Nicole Chrolavicius, Burlington, Ont. – Yay Nicole! A fellow member of Beth’s Facebook group.)
Split Infinitive
My loser entry: Cartoon Collections caption contest 2021-06-02
“Tell me all about it, Karen.”
(Winning caption: “He’s here to play you off the premises.” – Tommy Vinh Bui)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #758
“This is what the CDC is recommending today.”
(Winning caption: “Honey, can you close the door? I’m in a meeting.” – Sam Villetard, Beaumont, Alta.)
Memorial Day 2021
My loser entry: Cartoon Collections caption contest 2021-05-26
“Did you get the number of that beast?”
“I never said in what form I would return.”
(Winning caption: “Relax. You’re already dead” – Edo Steinberg – Again! Two weeks in a row – unprecedented. Yay Edo! – a fellow member of Beth’s Facebook group.)
(3rd Place: “And on the seventh day, He hid.” – Vincent Coca. Yay Vincent! – a fellow member of Beth’s Facebook group. )
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #757
“I really do know clouds. That one’s Vito.”
(Winning caption: “Don’t worry, it’s just a front.” – Brandon D. Lawniczak, Mill Valley, Calif.)
Secure PC
My loser entry: Cartoon Collections caption contest 2021-05-19
“Mind if we drop in?”
(Winning caption: “Her eyes are down here.” – Edo Steinberg. Yay Edo! A fellow member of Beth’s Facebook group. )
(3rd place: “Please untie us.” – Alan Leo. Yay Alan! Another fellow member of Beth’s Facebook group)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #756
“Patient failed to appear for appointment.”
(Winning caption: “So, you’re saying you didn’t miss your last two appointments?” – Rebecca Tatro, South Portland, Maine)
