“I interned under Drs. Barnum & Bailey.”
(Winning caption: “It’s usually noninvasive.” – Lisa Blees, North Haven, Conn.)
Merry Christmas 2022
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #832
“We’ve reached the outskirts of the Great Mongrel Empire.”
(Winning caption: “Hold your fire—it turns out he’s a good boy!” – Donny Dietz, Brooklyn, N.Y.)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #831
“At least the microphone is turned on.”
(Winning caption: “Any happily married people here tonight?” – Austen Earl, Los Angeles, Calif.)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #830
“I feel like I’m blocking goals.”
(Winning caption: “Well, of course I’m being defensive.” – Steve Arnold, Christchurch, N.Z.)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #829
“Poor guy. He could never resist warm asphalt.”
(Winning caption: “You always think everything is about you.” – Frank Poppe, Washington, D.C.)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #828
“Call the PGA. I figured out how guys keep getting abducted to LIV.”
(Winning caption: “Everyone’s landing on the green but you.” – Ralph LaGamma, Glen Rock, N.J.)
My loser entry: Cartoon Collections caption contest #160
“I’m keeping my hands in the kangaroo pocket till you get over your fear of intimacy.”
(Winning caption: Not yet posted.)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #827
“Fire and the wheel were big steps forward, but it wasn’t until legalized weed that the stone age really got rolling.”
(Winning caption: “How do you kill your lunch with that thing?” – Joseph Lyles, Greenville, S.C.)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #826
“He will survive.”
“Take that away, he didn’t make it.” – Roger Moore
(Winning caption: “The patient has requested ‘Stayin’ Alive.” – Paul Greenwood, Pickering, Ont.)
Happy Halloween 2022
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #825
“If you expect to be viable midterm candidates you’ll need to be a lot scarier.”
(Winning caption: “Thanks for carving out a little face time.” – Carol Lasky, Boston, Mass. – Yay Carol!)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #824
“I can’t believe I ate the Holstein thing.”
(Winning caption: “Your stomach is growling.” – James Cecil, Baltimore, Md.)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #823
“For my next trick I will turn a complementary meal into a tiny bag of pretzels.”
(Winning caption: “Think of a delay between one and ten hours.” – Kurt Rossetti, San Rafael, Calif.)
Caught a Bug
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #822
“And they all lived happily ever after abduction.”
(Winning caption: “Goodnight, trees, goodnight, dirt. Goodnight, human race on the earth.” – Benjamin Vidalis, Santa Fe, N.M. )
First thing next morning
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #821
“His vanity soars.”
(Winning caption: “You shoulda heard the mockingbirds this morning.” – Jack Visser, Troy, N.Y.)
Recursive Programming
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #820
“Mom?”
(Winning caption: “It leaves me feeling empty.” – Jesse Spain, Palo Alto, Calif.)
