“I mentioned to him that I’d like to have one.”
(Winning caption: “He’s not reinventing it—he’s making it great again.”)
Plan
My loser entry: San Diego Union Tribune caption contest 2016-09-07
“I’m sorry, little Timmy is very well behaved in class.”
(Winning caption: “Please home-school him.”)
My loser entry: The New Yorker caption contest #536
“Well, yes, I did search for ‘bus accident’. How did you know?”
(Winning caption: “And are the clowns inside you now?”)
Pokémon Go
My loser entry: ABA Journal caption contest 2016-09
“A client took all my gifts. He said he had a right to the presents of an attorney.”
(Winning caption: “They’re claiming the coal
in their stockings caused them emotional distress.”)
My loser entry: San Diego Union Tribune caption contest 2016-08-31
“You keep her busy, I’ll circle back and get the charger.”
(Winning caption:”Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!”)
My censored entry! Inside Higher Ed caption contest 2016-08
“And now, I will pull a responsibly managed budget out of my hat.
Ha, ha, just kidding, we’ll raise tuition like always.”
(Winning caption was never posted! My caption was a finalist. I am pretty sure I won
and the People In Charge at Inside Higher Ed censored my subversive caption
– which makes me happier than winning.)
My loser entry: The New Yorker caption contest #535
“It’s hard on mileage but we can use the carpool lane.”
(Winning caption: “He wants to know if you can move your seat up.”)
My winning entry! Chicago Tribune caption contest 2016-08-25
“He’s determined to prove that you can, in fact, tune a fish.”
(Winning caption: Mine!)
Hyphen
My loser entry: Superman home page caption contest 2016-08
“I swear to uphold Justice and the American Way.
Also Truth, except if Lois asks if she looks fat.”
(Winning caption: “…So help me Rao.”)
My loser entry: The New Yorker caption contest #534
“I know it works for Loch Ness, but there’s got to be a better way to raise our profile.”
(Winning caption: “No, what I said was we need more stakeholders.”)
My loser entry: San Diego Union Tribune caption contest 2016-08-24
“I’m beginning to suspect there’s no word in Hawaiian for ‘stairs’.”
(Winning caption: “I told you … I was robbed by four Olympic swimmers!”)
Nice Day
My loser entry: The New Yorker caption contest #533
“The subway sandwich is very popular.”
(Winning caption: “Sorry for the wait, but it’s been like Grand Central station in here.”)
Backstories
This is a summary of how the characters appear in my imagination. Your experience may vary …
Dan: About 40 | Asian american | Harvard MBA | Background in accounting | Convinced he knows everything about everything | Devoted father to his children from all three of his failed, abusive marriages | Reads Kant and Nietzsche, consistently misinterprets both | Stress does not affect him, he just causes it for others
Liz: Fifty-something | African american | High school graduate | Longtime by-the-book supervisor | Competent, kind, no-nonsense | Started as a secretary, rose to supervisor by working hard, producing results, and minding her own business | Leaves work stress at work | Dotes on her grandchildren
Tommy: Late twenties | Caucasian | Served six years in the Navy after high school – accustomed to following orders | Earned a B.S. in M.I.S. by taking night classes while in the Navy, and later at the local state college | Enjoys bicycling and hiking with his long-time boyfriend, which helps with Dan-induced stress
Lisa: Early twenties | Latina | Recent college graduate with degree in programming | Smart | Sassy | Reads science fiction, listens to jazz | Relieves stress by using sarcasm and sleeping around
The company: Cardinal Synergy was formed in 1995 by Stanford alums Brandon and Claudia, who have since moved on to public service careers. Bucking the tech boom trend, the company deliberately stayed small, and built a reputation for superb rapid software development. Even Dan’s micromismanagement has yet to destroy that reputation.
Micromismanagement Definition
Micromanagement is a management style whereby a manager exerts excessive control over the work of subordinates. Micromanagement is closely related to workplace bullying. Micromanagement may arise from underlying mental-health conditions such as obsessive–compulsive personality disorder and narcissism.
Mismanagement is any management that is malicious, careless, inefficient and/or otherwise incompetent. Mismanagement interferes with optimal achievement of business objectives.
Micromismanagement is the combination of the two pathologies. A micromismanager both obsessively controls subordinates, and dictates an incompetent manner in which the work must be done. Example: Dan.
Credit
Post your bad boss stories and jokes
This site is a tribute to Dan, a composite character encompassing all the bad traits of all my former bosses. Example: A former boss would consistently delay his approval of project documents for weeks at a time, all the while browbeating the project manager for being behind schedule. To be fair, I have also had several great bosses, and I have one now, but cartoons about competency and kindness would be a lot less fun.
Please post your bad boss stories and humor in the comments below …
