“Didn’t expect that, did you Ahab?”
(Winning caption: “Yeah, well your profile wasn’t exactly honest, either.”)
Bad bosses in media
Michael Scott, played by Steve Carell in The Office
Five things that, if true, do not need to be said …
… and if said, are almost certainly not true.
- I’m here to help.
- I’m not a bully.
- We’re in this together.
- I want you to succeed.
- I’m not micromanaging.
Prioritize
My loser entry: The New Yorker caption contest #531
“Wanna neck?”
(Winning caption: “Sorry I’m late. I hit every traffic light coming home.”)
Mixed message
My loser entry: The New Yorker caption contest #530
“Support for your budget cuts is unraveling.”
(Winning caption: “Your overhead is going to kill you.”)
Escalate
My loser entry: The New Yorker caption contest #529
“Because it’s air.”
(Winning caption: “Because it’s not there.”)
Management style
My loser entry: The New Yorker caption contest #528
“I get the feeling you’re not leveling with me.”
(Winning entry: “Welcome to orientation.”)
Top ten signs you’re a micromismanager
- For some reason people keep spray painting “Micromismanager” on your car.
- You believe IQ is proportional to desk size.
- You believe you are never, ever wrong.
- You believe you are surrounded by idiots.
- To change a light bulb, you hold the bulb and expect the world to revolve around you.
- When that doesn’t work you decide not to change the bulb. You prefer to leave your employees in the dark.
- Your employees tell you you’re mismanaging.
- Your employees tell you you’re micromanaging.
- Everyone hates you.
- Your name is Dan.
Daydream
My loser entry: The New Yorker caption contest #527
“Don’t worry, we’re not staying. I’m not allowed to smoke on the ship.”
(Winning caption: “You voted Leave, didn’t you.”)
Peanut
Cast
My loser entry: The New Yorker caption contest #526
“It was the only way to sneak in my hula hoop.”
(Winning caption: “Ironically, it’s for being so humble.”)
