“I’ve given up on traditional politics. Voting straight Garden Party from now on.”

(Winning caption: “Great disguise, General Lee!”)

“I don’t think I would like LA. Even their baseball team sounds dodgy.”

(Winning caption: “Your problem is you don’t have any goals or concept of time.”)

“I’m sorry, little Timmy is very well behaved in class.”

(Winning caption: “Please home-school him.”)

“You keep her busy, I’ll circle back and get the charger.”

(Winning caption:”Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!”)

“I’m beginning to suspect there’s no word in Hawaiian for ‘stairs’.”

(Winning caption: “I told you … I was robbed by four Olympic swimmers!”)