“I get it, Mom. I haven’t visited in a while.”

(Winning caption: “Please, I need time to decompose myself.”)

“I know he’s retired, but Polly’s in trouble.”

(Winning caption: “Sir, I don’t make the laws of gravity, I just enforce them.”)

“Did you bring the coleslaw?”

(Winning caption: “It sends the other rats a message.”)

“Her attorney will never expect it.”

(Winning caption: “It’s off the rack. The guy on the rack doesn’t need it anymore.”)

“I always thought it was pronounced ‘rapture’.”

(Winning caption: “Most of them have candy. This one’s filled with nuts.”)

“If you succeed, your next challenge will be pulling the cell phone from the intern’s hand.”

(Winning caption: “At least you didn’t get the ax.”)

“It’s extinct now. It was called an analog clock. Not sure what that is above it.”

(Winning caption: “Well, of course they don’t exist. Now.”)

“Ironically, I’m here for watching videos of naked people.”

(Winning caption: “He makes us watch this fire-safety video once a year.”)

“Add a hyphen to ‘micromanage’.”

(Winning caption: “His words, not mine.”)

“Yes, the lighting brings out your eyes. Now stop fishing for compliments.”

(Winning caption: “First, I set the mood.”)

“I don’t know the way down but if you hum a few bars I can fake it.”

(Winning caption: “This time I’m going to teach you how to tune it yourself.”)

“The sketch artist has the day off. Work with me here.”

(Winning caption: “If you want to see a giraffe, we’re going to need a lot more information.”)

“Clearly an act of God.”

(Winning caption: “It’s a textbook case—depending on which state your textbooks are from.”)

“Try to look more like a robin.”

(Winning caption: “I told your parents I would convert.”)

“The butcher is standing strong but the candlestick maker is turning state witness.”

(Winning caption: “Bad news. They found proof in the pudding.”)

“Dibs on the window meat.”

(Winning caption: “We can take this and transfer to the B.L.T. at Forty-second.”)

“The organ transplant didn’t turn out as I expected.”

(Winning caption: “I see the radiator’s Baroque again.”)