“All these years he was wearing high heels and a negligee under the robe.”

(Winning caption: “I was hoping taxes would go first.”)

“Don’t stop. We have no idea where that thumb has been.”

(Winning caption: “O.K., but he is going to have to check that bag.”)

“That must be Butch Cassidy.”

(Winning caption: “Well, you’re no masterpiece yourself.”)

“Try to look woolier.”

(Winning caption: “Primitive? Compared to what?”)

“One extra hot grande enlightenment to go, please.”

(Winning caption: “I can’t seat you until you are fully present.”)

“We recommend icing.”

(Winning caption: “Have you tried icing it?”)

“Did I leave the vibrator running?”

(Winning caption: “I thought you said it wouldn’t need much attention.”)

“Xzrrth fell down a well?”

(Winning caption: “Results are still preliminary,
but all indications suggest that he is a good boy.”)

“He might just be teasing. He either winked or blinked.”

(Winning caption: “My insurance doesn’t cover prehistoric conditions.”)

“The Meaning of Life? No idea. I’m the guru of workout fads.”

(Winning caption: “It’s for my back. You have two more questions.”)

“Thank you and your boyfriend for watching my suitcase.”

(Winning caption: “It’s cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom.”)

“What’s a nice ghoul like you doing in a place like this?”

(Winning caption: “Sure, I’ve got a few minutes to kill.”)

“He gives me the chills.”

(Winning caption: “Don’t worry. He won’t last long.” )

“She’s secretly planning to accuse him of inappropriate contact.”

(Winning caption: “I love it when the shirts turn plaid.”)

“The new tax regulations are here.”

(Winning caption: “She left a note. No, I haven’t read it yet.”)