“Hello, is this Ace Carpet Cleaning?”

(Winning caption: “I don’t know how many there are. I’m trying to stay awake.”)

“Fluffy and I will chase after the farmer’s wife, you two run up the clock.”

(Winning caption: “Listen to this baby purr.”)

“Did I mention I tend to be a little competitive?”

(Winning caption: “It is I, Manbunzel.”)

“French drones are the best at suspendering.”

(Winning caption: “You must be the fellow who ordered a friend on Amazon.”)

“Autumn leaves are at their most beautiful when someone else is raking them.”

(Winning caption: “I’m here to review the fall collection.”)

“Sorry, misunderstanding. It’s a wedding, not a funeral.
The two guys on the end just got engaged.”

(Winning caption: “I hope you’re on a break, too.”)

“Thanks, I guess, but I didn’t need to be rescued.
We were just frolicking in the autumn mist.”

(Winning caption: “Well, I’m sort of between quests at the moment.”)

“He’s out of Cholula chalupas?”

(Winning caption: “I think it’s safe to assume it contains preservatives.”)

“I see London, I see France, I see Ms. Bosman’s underpants.”

(Winning caption: “Sorry, kid, but this is the corporate ladder.”)

“It’s the notorious Ma Tryoshka gang. No conscience – like they’re empty inside.”

(Winning caption: “Looks like an inside inside inside inside inside job.”)

“Show me first your penny.”

(Winning caption: “Ideally, you want the dough to rise to about thirty-five thousand feet.”)

“Of course I’m sure. Climate change is a myth. Also sky squiggles. Sky squiggles don’t exist.”

(Winning caption: “Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats.”)

“You’re making good time but I’m still a head.”

(Winning caption: “I wouldn’t. It’s a toupee.”)

“No, I don’t want water. Why does everyone ask that?”

(Winning caption: “Yeah? Well, I’m also a fish out of Scotch.”)

“My brother, I see you have grown rich and handsome and you live on the edge.
But I can wiggle my left ear.”

(Winning caption: “Ignore the screams, sir. I’ll get you a new fork.”)

“I just test drove the new mustang. It’s bucking awesome.”

(Winning caption: “I’m in the air right now—let me call you back after I land.”)

“It’ll be a slider, low and outside. Just remember you have to take my turn at saber-tooth watch tonight.”

(Winning caption: “A lot has happened since your last at-bat.”)