“You left the toilet seat up and your guest left a puddle in the entryway. You’re just two pees in a pod.”

“You won the debate and you’re clearly better qualified. I’m still voting for the yellow dog.”

“The lengths you go to avoid talking to me.”

(Winning caption: “Still having trouble getting guests I see.” – Jack Brezina)

“I’m a Nigerian prince too, now turn to the right.”

“It’s no use. These are red herrings.”

“Release the other three but hold the anchovies.”

(Winning caption: “In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger.” – John Dudley)

“How can we be sure you’re not delivering a cordless hairdryer?”

“If it’s from the ice queen, send it back.”

“More angry letters? I already moved the carrots up and got rid of the snow balls.”

(Winning caption: “Hello, Number 6!” – Tom Gill)

“Mind if I share?”

(Winning caption: “I love your shadow, it’s so retro.” – Chris Sunami)

“My lifetime achievement award for housework non-participation.”

(Winning caption: “I scattered her ashes. Then I changed my mind.” – Joshua Rokach)

“Here’s a scary thought, let’s work together to serve the people.”

(Winning caption: “There’s a child in the White House, too.” – Steve Hampson)

“When Dad wasn’t drinking we just called him Moby.”

(Winning caption: “Maybe being white isn’t so great after all.” – James McGeever)

“He’s fine, just needed to pull himself together.”

(Winning caption: “Tell the chalk guy it was funny the first time.” – Rich Wolf)

“Maybe we’re overcompensating for having no balls.”

(Winning caption: “Or you could try the reset button.” – Geoffrey Rowan)

.

“Even worse, their landing craft look like porta-potties.”

(Winning caption: “Down boy, it’s Halloween.” – Jay Fogarty)