“If you give me a cookie, I’ll ask for a copy of your privacy policy.”
(Winning caption: “I know I don’t look familiar, but, believe me, I eat here all the time.” – Phil Walker, Fallston, Md.)
No Bullying
My loser entry: Cartoon Collections caption contest 2020-03-04
“I see you’ve been busy.”
“Working from home today?”
“We’re civilized now so watch your language. It’s a dang.”
(Winning caption: “That’s your solution for everything.” – Nick Gaudio)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #700
“Take one daily, wash your hands frequently, and avoid fighting Hercules.”
(Winning caption: “Looks like you’re already familiar with the side effects.” – Madeline Wolfson, Brooklyn, N.Y.)
RTFM
My loser entry: Cartoon Collections caption contest 2020-02-26
“If that bitch Kate calls tell her you haven’t seen me or her crown.”
“… then I said “Look, the last thing I need is another prince in my life, but a talking frog – that’s really cool.””
“I drink to forget that I never became a Disney princess, just a real one.”
(Winning caption: “My life’s a goddamn fairy tale.” – Paul Nesja – Holy Twofer! Yea Paul!)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #699
“You’ll each have to poll above 10% to participate in the next session.”
(Winning caption: And how do you feel about how she feels about how he feels?” – Liliya Jones, Los Angeles, Calif.)
Status Prediction
My loser entry: Cartoon Collections caption contest 2020-02-19
“You overshot Mars by quite a bit.”
“How do I know this isn’t a hoax?”
“You can finally stop worrying and join us. America is great again.”
(Winning caption: “Okay sure, you just discovered us and your capsule didn’t explode.” – Brian Enright)
My loser entry: Style Invitational caption contest #1368
Picture A: “Go home, Spot. I don’t have any treats for you.”
Picture B: “Spot hasn’t touched his dinner. I hope he isn’t trying to get treats from Mrs. Bozeman again.”
Picture C: “I’m so pleased you decided to attend the impeachment trial.”
Picture D: “The statue of Tolerance was too offensive.”
(Winning caption: Not yet posted.)
Co-Author
My loser entry: Cartoon Collections caption contest 2020-02-12
“You have carpaccio disorder. It’s very rare.”
“We prefer to call it a copay, not tipping.”
“The burns have finally healed. Please be more careful on re-entry next time.”
(Winning caption: “I’m afraid someone drank your sample.” – Andrew Wellhouse)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #698
“Am I why you have the moat?”
(Winning caption: “Harry, the whole point of leaving England was to blend in.” Deb Pecchia, Hyde Park, N.Y.)
Old Excuses
My loser entry: Cartoon Collections caption contest 2020-02-05
“A paddle might have been a better idea.”
“Kind of ironic his last words were “Oh, the shark has pretty teeth dear.””
“So unfair – woodwinds and children first.”
(Winning caption: “It seemed important at the time.” – Keith Huie)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #697
“Iffin ye sea somethin, say somethin.”
(Winning caption: “No one crosses the Pirates of Penn Station.” – Paul Nesja, Mount Horeb, Wis. – Yea Paul! Paul is a fellow member of Beth Lawler’s New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest Rejects group.)
IE
My loser entry: Cartoon Collections caption contest 2020-01-29
“To new endings.”
I wish I had thought of: “I can’t see you anymore.” – Beth Lawler
(Winning caption: “How, exactly, do we get back to your place?” – Cannon Alsobrook)
My loser entry: New Yorker caption contest #696
“Please complement the chef on the molasses lick appetizer.”
“Don’t expect to ride me after this.”
(Winning caption: “If there’s a ring in here, Hank, I swear to God . . .” – Brittany Vance, Idaho Falls, Idaho)
Moving Day
