“I watched the debate too. I’m not hopping mad though, just hopping disillusioned.”
“A giant turtle went by while you were napping.”
“It’s just a fondue pot, melted Velveeta. I haven’t seen your velveteen friend.”
(Winning caption: “We’re gonna need a bigger hat.” – Marc Seigel)
“I can’t use you in my act. They don’t make top hats that big.”
“You the fella that’s been splitting hares?” (Wood will hate that one)
They both glared at each other, wondering who was supposed to be speaking. (I guess it’s the human? But I did one for each)