“Your delusions are getting worse, Mom.”

“So, you’re into naughty girls – who isn’t?”

“It would be a shame if the press somehow found out about your elf fetish. By the way, I never got the official Red Ryder air rifle that I asked for all those years ago.”

(Winning caption: “But then again, Christmas is not really about you, is it?” – Steve Sayre)

(3rd place: “But do you believe in you?” – Alan Leo. Yay Alan! – a fellow member of Beth’s Facebook group.)