“This diagnosis, should you choose to accept it …”

(Winning caption: “Your insurance company got back to us.”)

 

“Wise guys. They’ll fix the mole problem.”

(Winning caption: “Hire the one that said, ‘Whom.’ “)

“I know we needed an excuse to shred the files, but after the audit I want my desk back.”

(Winning caption: “Honey, is the Tesla recharged yet?”)

“I’m sorry, I haven’t seen Nemo.”

(Winning caption: “But where would we raise the kids?”)

“Can you hear me now?”

(Winning caption: “I’ll let go of the stick when you let go of the stick.”)

 

“Is his club bigger than mine?”

(Winning caption: “Getting past the guard is easy. How do we remove the paintings?”)

“Only happens when we smuggle performance enhancing drugs.”

(Winning caption: “I can’t believe my eye!”)

“Johnny is still a baby. Do not send him to school.
Johnny is still a baby. Do not send him to school …”

(Winning caption: “No, you grow up.”)

“I found it by the levee.”

(Winning caption: “I’ll be damned.”)

“OK, I’ll buy organic next time.”

(Winning caption: “We had meth on Tuesday.”)