“I know he’s retired, but Polly’s in trouble.”

(Winning caption: “Sir, I don’t make the laws of gravity, I just enforce them.”)

“Did you bring the coleslaw?”

(Winning caption: “It sends the other rats a message.”)

“Her attorney will never expect it.”

(Winning caption: “It’s off the rack. The guy on the rack doesn’t need it anymore.”)

“I always thought it was pronounced ‘rapture’.”

(Winning caption: “Most of them have candy. This one’s filled with nuts.”)

“If you succeed, your next challenge will be pulling the cell phone from the intern’s hand.”

(Winning caption: “At least you didn’t get the ax.”)

“It’s extinct now. It was called an analog clock. Not sure what that is above it.”

(Winning caption: “Well, of course they don’t exist. Now.”)

“Ironically, I’m here for watching videos of naked people.”

(Winning caption: “He makes us watch this fire-safety video once a year.”)

“Add a hyphen to ‘micromanage’.”

(Winning caption: “His words, not mine.”)

“Yes, the lighting brings out your eyes. Now stop fishing for compliments.”

(Winning caption: “First, I set the mood.”)